Light Me and Light You Too

Zhang Sanjian 2022-02-16 12:00

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With the continuous persuasion of friends, I finally mustered the courage to go to the hospital to see a psychologist. I’ve never liked going to the hospital, whether there was a reason or not, I always preferred to handle things on my own. Sometimes, facing one’s own vulnerabilities can be really difficult, and maybe I don’t appear as strong and brave as I thought. It’s the warmth and support from everyone in times of crisis that have given me so much, and I dare not, nor do I want to look back on how I got through this period. I believe many friends may encounter the same issues as me. Going to see a doctor and talking to a psychologist might be helpful for you.

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Chief Complaint: Low mood, insomnia, recurrent nightmares for 6 months.
Present Medical History: Six months ago, the patient and his family experienced cyberbullying. As a result, the patient gradually developed a low mood, lost interest in activities he used to enjoy, and feels dazed with a lack of a sense of reality. He is also afraid of phone calls and rarely uses his cellphone. He avoids going out and has had thoughts of suicide, although he did not take any action. He experiences insomnia and finds it hard to fall asleep. He often has recurring nightmares, usually about being chased by killers, leading to easy awakening with palpitations, restlessness, and cold sweats. His mother also suffered from cyberbullying, leading to mood swings and thoughts of suicide. The patient feels guilty about this and has lost his appetite.
Past Medical History:  Nothing significant
Allergy History:  No
Personal and Family History: No family history of mental illness. Currently does not consume alcohol. Pre-illness personality: Introverted, sensitive, and often too worried. No significant medical history.
Initial Diagnosis: post-traumatic stress disorder （major）,  sleep disorder

Sanjian is also starting to take medication regularly now. It’s uncertain if it will work, but it’s a new attempt. As to the song promised to the friend,  I have written its lyrics. I don’t know if there will be a chance to sing it for everyone, so I’ll share it in advance.

“Stars Light You Up”
The sunlight hits my face, while I resist its call to wake
Days as hard to endure as nights
Browsing on my cellphone,  afraid of call rings,
My mind turns into an empty zone
All doors are tightly closed
No matter how hard I push
Close my eyes, only then I see the magnificent sea
Don’t cry,  I am just a dust on the scales
The fireworks lighted the gloom on your face,
Bright, but fleeting, never to return.
The disappearing passion, the lost love,
The stars are watching you, don’t be afraid, I’m still here.

The future road, let’s walk it together,
Look, the thorny path is blooming with flowers.
Waiting for the clear sky, waiting for the night, the stars in the night sky are waiting for you to gaze upon,
Twinkling, never extinguishing, guiding the way.
The sky will darken, but it will also brighten, the dark clouds are just temporarily blocking your radiance.
Descripting and writing the future that is even better than you ever thought.
In the waiting, warmth fills us, and the future is worth us guarding together.

（The cover image’s src: Internet）

ZhangSanjian
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